It's Cold Out There

What's that saying? It's either feast or famine? Pouring buckets or a drought? I recently met someone and knock on wood it's been going really well. I don't want to say too much about it because I'm always superstitious that I will jinx it somehow. However - it seems to be sending out some signal into the dating world that this opportunity has come upon me because all of these past "flings" have resurfaced recently.

Doesn't Want to Be Left Out in the Cold #1 - The French Writer. Met at the new club Shrine at Foxwoods over the summer. I couldn't get past the fact that all we talked about was the fact that he was French. and a Writer. I'm surprised his text message didn't say "hey étranger".

Doesn't Want to Be Left Out in the Cold #2 - Blast from the Past. He surely got the bat call cause I met him in nyc AT LEAST 3 years ago. Took the Chinatown bus up to see me one weekend. Never to be heard from again. Until 2 days ago.

Doesn't Want to Be Left Out in the Cold #3 - The Golf Pro. I must have talked about him before at some point since we have been on and off for at least a year and a half. He is currently thinking we are "on".

Doesn't Want to Be Left Out in the Cold #4 - "John" from post "Tagteam back again". We actually ended up going out one night to this extravagant dinner/show - put on by himself. To not hear from him again until I get this text at 6:40 am. "You are the first thing I think about when I wake up". hahah what? To which I respond "I think you meant to send this to someone else".

Was never in from the cold #5 - Pabsblue - Someone I talked to on an online dating site - literally 3 years ago. Suddenly has resurfaced, has a girlfriend, yet wants to know when he can take me out on the town. Eerily remembers things that I told him when we initially talked. I needed to remind him that 1. he still has a girlfriend and 2. we have never met and 3. is your screenname supposed to be a type of beer?

and last but not least

Would get married to not be left out in the cold #6 - My POF Pilot. When I asked if he could fly for free he responded - yes and when we are married you can too. Then when he didn't hear from me in awhile left a message saying - what did you go off and get married? Whoa. put down the wedding magazines and stop dialing the phone number to a wedding planner.

And I made sure to tell "John" when I saw him on facebook before I went to bed the other night..."You are the last thing I think about before I go to sleep."

You better get your hat and mittens.

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To

So one of my favorite bars called me on Tuesday saying that my name had been picked for one of their VIP parties. What does that exactly mean - well they give you $3 drink specials and some free apps. However there was a twist - whichever VIP host could bring in the most guests would win a $100 bar tab. That my friends, I could definitely use.

So I immediately go into anxiety mode - who would I invite, would anyone actually come? While I have a number of friends from lots of different places in Providence, I didn't have a solid group of people that I knew would definitely come. I decided to create an event on Facebook and adorned it with one of my favorite picks from Southern Bell's wedding - me with the blow up guitar. How could anyone not want to go to a party hosted by me??

So for the first 24 hours I was the only person attending - (I think I invited around 25 people). I was seriously in a full blown panic. Not only was no one coming but everyone could see that no one was replying yes. Thankfully my friend J and his partner agreed to go so I knew that I wouldn't be by myself. A few others trickled in but that was about it. So then I had the dilemma of whether or not I ask my boss to attend. He is on Facebook and I had invited some other people from work that are on Facebook so I knew that he would see it. He already had made a comment about how he wasn't sent my Halloween pics as Sarah Palin - but saw them from someone else. So I decided to go ahead and invite him - and of course by 10:00 pm last night. It was me, J and R, T, and my boss. Exceellllleeennt.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. (which I totally will when its only me and my gays - at least I know they are loyal).

This Love Will Last Forever

I just got home from one of the most surreal experiences that I've had in awhile. I just attended the New Kids on the Block concert. Jordan, Jon, Joey, Danny and Donnie. Back together again. Life really is good.

A few things I noticed:

• About 95% of the attendees were women in their late twenties - early forties
• About 90% of the 95% were about 20 pounds + overweight.
• About 80 % of the 90% designed some kind of puff paint/scanned photo/highlighter matching NKOTB shirt with their friends.
• About 75% of the 80% we could not distinguish whether their "throwback" to the eighties was a costume or how they really dress.
• About 100% had been preparing for this night since they listened to "I'll be loving you forever" on their walkman (on repeat) the night their boyfriend broke up with them in middle school.

I have to say - age has been good to all 5 of the New Kids - all were extremely hot. I fell in love all over again. I screamed my head off like I was 10 years old again sitting in my living room watching the Hangin Tough video.

The bizarre part was that it was all exactly the same. They sounded the same - My heart skipped a beat when Jordan went into his falsetto. They were even dressed the same as they were 15 years ago. Joey in his classic skinny black tie, Danny in his muscle tee, Donnie in his chains and Red Sox hat, Jon in his button down still looking like the stage is the last place on earth he wants to be, and Jordan with his flowing unbuttoned shirt.

And of course the dance moves were the same - the right stuff hand in belt side step, the arm swinging hangin tough, the 87 pivot turns while they stand in a row, and Joey belting out Please Don't Go Girl while on his knees - it was like I was watching it 15 years ago and everything was the same - just that they were slightly older and hotter. I loved every minute of it.

Donnie pulled a sign out from the crowd because he thought the simple words had such a lasting impact on him. That never in his wildest dreams would he think they would be back here in this moment. Who knew that as a grown woman I would be screaming my head off for the five guys I loved in the 4th grade. Just as that sign said - This Love Will Last Forever.

Change Apparently Wears a Size 2XL

So I am sitting in my apartment watching the results of one of the most significant elections in history. I am very excited (still very nervous) about what this can mean for our country. Change is definitely upon us whether that change is good or bad. (except wtf is up with CNN talking to people via hologram during the election results).

I think change is funny. People are so scared of it yet it happens all the time. My ten year high school reunion is approaching next year and it makes me think about how much things have changed since those days when I hugged all my closest friends good bye and we all approached the next adventure in our lives when we spread across the east coast and headed to college.

Because I have a disease that I call ODT (obsessive to do) I decided to take over planning our reunion. (usually this is up to the President of the Class but I completely disregarded that minor detail).

So in my true ODT fashion I sent out an email on behalf of the "committee" to the entire class. All of these people who I never talked to in HS were sending me emails at how appreciative they were of my planning. I truly believe that I am going to relive my entire 4 years in one night (a la romy and michelle's high school reunion) The only nasty email I got was from this one girl who seriously came up to my left boob in height, had hair down to her knees and who I thought was a lesbian for all four years but turns out she got married to a man. woops.

Her lovely note:

"Whoa did you seriously think it was ok to publish my email address to all these people?

And you got my name wrong.

You may want to consider getting people’s permission before shotgun blasting their contact information around the world. I don’t want any of these people knowing how to talk to me."

In which I wanted to respond with - Whoa, did you actually think anyone was looking to contact you and have you gone for a haircut yet? But I was nice and simply told her I would take her off the list.

Anyway...back to change. So in the meantime I have also been friend requesting people on Facebook. And I came across something that scarred me for life. My high school crush. Let's just say that my beautiful, tall, charismatic boy of a crush doesn't quite look like he used to. So much so that I almost didn't recognize him. Now I'm 100 % sure that I wasn't the only girl with braces and in the marching band that drooled over him so I am very concerned about him making his grand entrance at our reunion. He will for sure upset many people (probably all of the closeted high school gays as well) So I decided to write him a letter.

Dear Love of My Life,

I recently came across your facebook profile and was quite taken aback from what my eyes saw. In fact I believe my exact words were "My eyes, my eyes!" as I covered my face in horror. In high school you were the image of perfection and now you are just a rather large image. I am concerned. Very concerned. I cannot, will not, let the love of my life enter our high school reunion looking like he ate the rest of the football team for dinner. So. We have decided to have an intervention. We have called the Biggest Loser - they just so happen to be doing a special on reunions. Allison is waiting in the car outside. Just put down the hot dog and beer and do this for all of us. I know that there is that lean, muscular, heartbreaker underneath those layers and he's just waiting to bust out and show his classmates that he is just as much of a hottie now that he was in high school.

All my love,

Sarah

P.S. I made sure to order low carb apps for the reunion.

** It only took me about 3 hours to write this post because I kept getting distracted. We just found out that Barack Obama just won the election. Change is good. :)