My attempt at 15 minutes of fame.

Haha but it's on soap net so I guess it will just be 10 minutes of fame.

So i get this email a couple weeks ago that is titled "looking for love?" which instantly caught my attention (those clever little bastards at abc). It describes this new show that they are starting on abc that is based on the movie "The Holiday" where cameron diaz and kate winslet switch cities for a vacation. (totally unrealistic because jude law shows up on cameron diaz's front door and instantly falls in love with her)

Anyway - so i instantly wrote back and said i was interested. Get a free vacation and the chance to meet new cute guys?? I'm in! I included some of my blog entries because i know that so many people love them from all the comments i always get. hehe So the casting director writes me back and tells me he wants to chat with me.

I get a call from him a few days later while I'm driving down to NYC to celebrate my friend's bday at a karaoke bar. Totally gave me bonus points that i was doing something soooo spontaneous like driving from RI to NYC to go to a karaoke bar. hahah. right. So we chatted for awhile and he definitely liked me and thought I was a fun. Which I responded "I think I'm fun too!" haha right.

So I got an email saying I made it to round 2 - whoo hoo! Which means that I have to go and charm the producers in person. So of course i bought a totally cute outfit and will be getting my hair cut.

Some of my friends are not so optimistic that I will be wisked away to a great city like Chicago and meet the man of my dreams. These are some other possibilities of what can happen:

• I am entered into athletic competitions to win dates.
• I am entered into Finding Luv with Flava Flav with New York as the host.
• Teila Tequila is my roommate.
• They fly me to east bum arkansas and my date is takin a ride on the ol' tractor to go milk some cows.
• It's all a joke and every guy I go out with is gay.

All I'm hoping for is that I end up on the show which then ends up on The Soup - and then it truly has all come full circle.

Strippers, Shamrocks and Wellies, oh my!

Well this past weekend was very eventful. First on Friday night I met up with a high school friend and his coworker that were in town for a conference. Went out for a nice dinner on Federal Hill and then had some drinks at one of the Irish bars in Providence.

Well my friends were up in this area for a band conference and we happened to run into one of the band directors from our rival band out at the bar. I of course tried to start getting some "insider info" but wasn't having much success. All of a sudden we were giving him a ride back to the hotel - half the car didn't want to go home and half did. (we had to leave the bar because we suddenly realized we were the tallest people in the place - and that's not saying a lot. it was like the congregation of the leprechauns getting ready for st. patty's day) All of a sudden we were discussing going to the Foxy Lady - one of the many strip clubs in providence. Our rival band director "Ted" was all over that. I think it honestly was the highlight of his year. So we pull up to the place and there is a loud speaker with a recording of announcements almost like we were pulling up to a disney ride.

Let's just say it was quite the sight to see. To be with a group of guys that included one straight married man with a baby at home, one gay man, one in the closet gay man, and one desperate straight man was very interesting. I am always shocked at how these women don't even look good! This one stripper who was definitely on something literally had no ass and no boobs and yet there she was up there. Although I don't think she was getting much money. There was a group of guys there for a bachelor party and there were definitely some hotties but then I decided I couldn't tell people I met someone at a strip club so decided against going over near them. All of a sudden desperate straight man and in the closet gay man are no where to be found. I start to wander around and find them on the "side stage" (code for even uglier than the main stage girls) ogling at these women. All of a sudden desperate straight man goes into a secret back room and probably let loose more than we would all like to know. After desperate straight man had his fun, in the closet gay man was tired of putting up a front, married straight man couldn't take any more embarrassment, and gay man came close too many times of the women overhearing his comments - we decided to go home.

So on Saturday I headed to Newport with the girls for the St. Patty's day parade and festivities. This is a crazy day that makes it acceptable to be a drunk fool and to dress like an even bigger fool. I was very concerned about my outfit because I needed to be super cute and be able to pull off wearing some kind of green apparel. I also don't like wearing jeans with sneakers because i'm so short and don't like my jeans scraping along the ground. I was determined to wear a cute pair of wellies but of course had put off getting them till the last day. I managed to find a green pair at payless the night before.

So my outfit consisted of jeans tucked into my new green wellies, my green "kiss my blarney stone" t-shirt with a grey long sleeved shirt and white wife beater underneath, off white scarf around my neck and black puffy vest. I felt like i pulled off looking cute and was warm. Well - did I get a lot of negative attention regarding my outfit.

"why are you wearing those boots?" "did you think it was going to rain?" "you are bundled up for a snow storm" "do you think you have enough layers on?"

jesus - for a second i got worried that if i was a celebrity the fug girls would have written about me. my fashion forward gay assured me that the outfit was indeed cute. then i realized what these people were wearing that were making the comments/giving me looks:

- a green pimp hat

-green tights underneath super short jean shorts with their ass cheeks hanging out

- a t-shirt with shamrocks over each boob on a shirt with a leprechaun saying "me lucky charms"

-white gym socks with green stripes pulled up a la Dazed and Confused

and green sparkles in their hair.

and

-retarded matching green shirts that had puffy paint that said "i'm not irish but i've had irish in me."

as the fug girls would say - my wellies kick your leprechaun's ass.

Dancing with the Stars According to Sarah

Ok -




I watched DWTS from Monday night last night and whoa - there is a lot to comment on. Not even sure where to begin. This is by far going to be the most entertaining season to date. Here is my rundown of all the contestants:


Belinda Carisle - not memorable enough

David Alan Grier - f**king hysterical - but it might get old. I laughed out loud when he said he was hoping to get sexual favors our of being on the show.

Shawna Johnson - can def win it. Needs to tone down rigid gymnast arms.

Lil' Kim - did they let her out of jail for this?

Holly Madison - i swear she is the skinniest girl i have ever seen. i almost died when Carrie Ann said she looked like a baby fawn on it's legs for the first time - cause that's exactly what it was. and that laugh. heheheheh. she definitely has that playboy pose down pat though.

Gilles Marini - Want. To. See. Him. Naked. In Person.

Ty Murray - is forever cursing his wife jewel for getting hurt and leaving him in his own private hell.

Steve - O - i have never laughed so hard watching someone attempt to dance before.

Denise Richards - cannot STAND her. Karina better watch her with both eyes because she is partners with Karina's extremely hot fiance Maksim. (my favorite) That girl has ulterior motives. She has already started calling him Maxipoo?? Did you see her face when stupid Samantha Harris brought that up? Karina - take her DOWN.

Melissa - my girl. Went from being dumped on national television to dancing with the stars in one week. love it. Just didn't love the costume they put you in. You looked like the little mermaid caught in a net.

Lawrence Taylor - token black athlete.

Chuck Wicks - total sweet hottie. i am extremely jealous of his girlfriend julianne. not only is she a skinny dancer with awesome hair but she has him to go home to. Life is not FAIR.

Steve Wozniak - Karina, Karina, Karina. What producer did you screw over to get this kind of treatment? Not only does your fiance have the biggest whore of a partner but they put you with this guy. I'm hoping that you stay in it as long as you can just so you can keep an eye on legs and maxipoo.




I have to say I'm very pleased that my faves from So You Think You Can Dance have moved their way into Dancing with the Stars. I love seeing familiar faces.



Some things never change though with the professional dancers-


Kim is still cross eyed.
Cheryl still looks better with full on makeup.
Edyta is still wearing leg warmers.
and
Jonathan is still the gayest straight ballroom dancer.

BUT

when did Mark Ballas become such a hottie?

Lastly - did anyone notice the woman in the audience behind Tom Bergeron who at one point I thought she had died but then realized that she was just sleeping...