The "Hi have a chance Hat"

I have recently renamed a Providence night spot from the Hi Hat to the "Hi have a chance Hat". Why the name change you ask?

Well one of my friends from work and I decided to stop by Saturday night to listen to a band I'm thinking of booking for one of our events.

The fact that we saw a couple of middle aged drunk women stumble out onto the sidewalk as we walked in was not a good sign.

I was seriously the youngest person in the place. I felt like even in their drunken state - everyone was aware of this fact almost like there was an arrow over my head pointing me out. The men were drooling over us like we were brand new prey that wandered into their lair.

The outfits were unbelievable. Some women did not want to give up their New Year's Eve sparkles. Some others couldn't stop looking at themselves while they were dancing - they thought they were such hot shit.

We see this group of guys that looked around our age. Who talk about hot shit - thought they were roasting. However it seemed that they were constantly asking this group of older women to dance and I suddenly realized we had a group of cougars on our hands. At one point this one younger - slightly attractive (in a "the best of the worst" kind of way) asks this one woman in the group to dance. I could not understand it. On top of the fact that she should have stopped wearing haltar tops about 20 years ago - I know this is going to sound horribly mean but she almost looked slightly retarded. I am 100% positive that she was not - but I was staring with this I can't believe this is happening look on my face. Her friends were half giddy for their friend/half totally jealous that it wasn't them out there. So of course I need to start trouble and catch eyes with one of the friends and start mouthing to her - do you want to dance with him too? My friend immediately stops me from creating a scene.

Another one of the guys in the group was absolutely repulsive. He had on his horrible striped shirt, which laid over his beer belly and slight hunch of his back. He thought he was such a ladies man and came marching confidently over to me and my friend. Of course asked us to dance and I couldn't even take a breath before blurting out no. I almost wanted to say - I've been making fun of you mercilessly since I walked into this reject haven.

I continued to be mesmerized by the seduction of the cougars by the young boys. I couldn't tell if they were doing it on a dare or as a joke - or - if they were seriously trying to get some ass from these women. (it had to be because they had no chance in a normal bar).

Once my friend and I heard the first few notes of "Let's Get It On" we knew it was our exit to leave. No need to actually witness the grinding of what could be my mom's friends with their potential sons at the Hi have a chance Hat.