Good Old Joanie

I haven't written in awhile because I have been so busy. I've been house hunting and think I have found something that I want to put an offer on. In the meantime Joan my landlord has already found someone to rent out my apartment so basically I will be out on the street if I don't make a move.

This is all happening really fast and it makes me think back to all of the "events" that have occurred that have brought me and Joan together.

I slipped and fell on ice in front of the apartment so hard that I "flopped like a fish". I ended up breaking my elbow and tried to convince Joan to pay for my medical bills. It didn't work in my favor that I was intoxicated at the time of the fall.

Joan and I had to conduct an investigation when a huge box of jewelry worth $1,000 was stolen from the apartment building. (it would be my luck that my first huge jewelry party order was stolen) "Carlos the handyman" put it in front of the stairs and sometime between 1:00 pm and 5:00 pm it went missing. Joan then insisted on going through each person's apartment when they weren't home which I believe is illegal.

Joan is deathly afraid of fire so my beautiful fireplace isn't even usable and because she boarded it up. However a bat/bird/squirrel/unidentifiable animal flew down the chimney and got stuck. It kept flapping/scurrying all around until I think it eventually died.

Being on the first floor everyone knows that heat rises. Also since this is an old home the air gets through every little crack and crevice. And since I am constantly cold I tended to keep the theromstat a little bit higher than normal. (ok much higher) Until Joan took it off one day and replaced it without me knowing with one that I couldn't turn above 70 degrees.

If I had a dollar for every time I said "JESUS CHRIST JOAN!" over these last four years I'd have the money for that downpayment on my new house.

Ahh. Good old Joanie.