Here's to Winter

So this past weekend my mom came up to visit me in good old Providence. I have a really good relationship with my mom so I was looking forward to her visit - although i had to mentally prepare myself for comments regarding my eating habits, the state of my apartment, and of course my dating life - which I knew were inevitable.



So mom arrives on Thursday night and while I go to work the next day she begins to tear my apartment apart. Now I don't consider myself a really messy person but I guess with the fabulous lifestyle I have (haha jk) it's hard to keep some of the real nitty gritty cleaning up. So when I get home I sit down to my first lecture - "Sarah you have stay on top of the dust" (ok so i may have noticed some dust balls the size of small rodents) "Sarah you have to pull the stove away from the wall sometimes" (ok she may have found enough seasonings that fell behind there to make a top chefesq entree) and finally "Sarah you have to take the time to put away your clothes" (ok I might have had so many clothes on the floor I could have clothed those dustball rodents".) So after the cleaning lecture we let the fun begin.



We decided to drive into Boston with my good friend J and his boyfriend R. First we take a walk down Newbury St. where mom kindly treats me to the 5 for $25 deal at Vicky's Secret so that I could throw away some of my old granny underpants (another thing she noticed during the cleaning frenzy) and some new clothes at H&M. Not my first choice for a clothing excursion but when mom is buying I don't argue. And this store was a ton better than the one at the mall when I have to find my size in a pile of clothes on the floor.



So then we head to dinner and of course I am taken aback at our gorgeous waiter, Pete. Pete looks like someone who auditioned for the role of Danny Zucko on that show "You're the One that I Want" so I was always expecting him to break out into song when he came to the table. J's favorite activity is to play matchmaker so he proceeded to try to make conversation with him the entire time. Well Pete wasn't too smart because at one point he came over and asked us if we wanted dessert and we hadn't even gotten our meals yet. We proceeded to laugh in his face and I swear he ran away and cried in the bathroom. J wants to tell him that he's hot. Mom tells him not to because then Pete will get so flustered that he will mess up all of his other orders for the evening and then will go home and kill himself. (mom! who knew she had such a disturbed mind although I swear we were laughing for like 10 minutes after she said that). So after we were finished harassing Pete we then left and made our way to a comedy club. We landed a seat in the front row so I thought for sure we were going to have a few laughs at our expense. (the best kind). Sadly - the comedians were horrible! I could have gotten up there and done better - Pete the waiter was effortlessly funnier than these guys.



The next night mom and I went to Watefire, a unique event to providence where they light fires along the canal. I know it sounds like a pyromaniac's heaven but it really is a nice event. We go on this boat ride on the canal and since the fire's were just lit mom was convinced we were going to catch on fire. We are taking pictures of each other but when i suggest we have a picture taken together she says no, that's queer. She also makes a comment that people might think we are in the lesbian boat because these two women behind us (who look like mother and daughter) are holding hands the entire time.

After we avoid getting our hair lit on fire we then make our way over to one of my favorite bars for some after fire drinks. Ok so a few days ago I met this guy from Lebanon who has not stopped texting me. So mom says - tell him to come meet us for a drink. I ponder and think this could go really really well or horribly bad. So I decide to take my chances invite him and he quickly agrees. He starts telling us all about how he won the silver medal in the olympics (in like '88 - you do the math) for taekwondo. and all about the movie he is premiering in october. (something about a woman with AIDS infecting men cause she hates them) I had heard all about this the first time i met him and apparently those are his two favorite topics to talk about. things went surprisingly well except for the fact that he didn't offer to buy us drinks - which was a big no no in mom's book. The other thing to point out is that he has been texting this other girl i know and she also showed up at the bar so that was a nice little awkward Lebanese combo.

Meanwhile I have a slight crush on the bartender and I am majorly using mom to score some points. He keeps forcing martinis on her and then we decide to all do a shot together. So he tells my mom to pick what we are going to toast to. Now mom doesn't do well with thinking of things on the spot so she says something like "here's to the end of the year, summer being over." i look at her like THAT is what you thought of?? we have the hottest bartender in providence buying us a shot and THAT is what you say?? Later on she says well what i could have said is "Here's to my daughter finding a husband." haha touche`. So after I almost die of embarrassment hot bartender smiles and says...I like it, "Here's to Winter". oy.